I woke up feeling stressed, with lots of worry over things that I have no way of controlling. In fact, this is how I've been feeling for weeks now. "Did I say the right thing to so-and-so? Did I divide my time equally between all of my family members at a recent gathering? Did everyone have a good time at that gathering? Will my son find a job that is a good fit for his good heart and love of community and communication? Will my daughter feel better soon? Will my grandsons grow up to be happy, healthy men? Did my yoga community enjoy that class I just taught?" And so on and so on. You get the idea, right?! Oh, my.
But, I know my brain does this sometimes. When it does, it is a signal to me that I need to take care of myself. This morning, taking care of myself meant skipping my physical yoga practice in order to spend that time at my altar, with some candles and incense, listening to Ram Dass and just sitting in silence. My mind did wander, but I imagined myself just watching my thoughts drift by, instead of attaching to them and getting tangled up in them. I just watched.
Another interesting thing happened. I was suddenly drawn to the Ho'oponopono prayer, which I have taken to for the past several years, directing it at one person in particular. Today, though, without agenda, I knew that I needed to direct that prayer to one other person, in particular, and surprisingly, direct it to myself. I knew it was what I needed by the way I felt as I repeated the words over and over again. I felt it as a complete understanding, a complete comfort.
I am one that depends on my morning routine. If I don't get it, I will feel "off" for the rest of the day. But sometimes, you just have to be still, listen to that voice inside of you, sit with it, and feel confident that it (YOU!) knows exactly what YOU need. So, be willing to ditch the routine, no matter how attached you are. It is a great lesson in letting go.
Be Still. Be Strong. Be Happy. ~ Juli
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