Mutti Blu's: May 2018

One of the last lines in my last blog post (almost two months ago- yikes!) was about finding tranquility, peace and order in myself through yoga. To continue on that theme, as I promised to do in the next few posts, I thought I would break it down into a few lessons that I've learned over the past year, as I've gone through the process of turning crisis and chaos into a gift.

Getting to this point has been a process, for sure. And, as I've said before, I still have my moments. But, still, even the process has been a gift. And the people I have chosen to surround myself with over the past year or so have helped me realize this to be the absolute truth. Meeting and learning from new people with an outlook on life that I can truly relate to has had such a positive impact on me. Many of these lessons began a few summers ago when I discovered podcasts and online workshops and retreats. But the lessons became more evident to me last summer, discovering the joy of community (real, LIVE people!) during my LuJong retreat. The lessons have become even more clear through the teachings of the instructors at Jane's House and from this book and this book (which were required reading for our training). So, onto the first lesson.

Lesson 1- Beauty.

No, I'm not talking about "looking good in your yoga pants", as Judy Ruby mentions in the Jane's House video link above, but really knowing yourself and looking inside of yourself in a way that enables you to interact with the the world around you in your most authentic way, spreading your beauty around as you go. Beauty on the inside is so much more important than beauty on the outside,right? Obviously, I knew this before, but I think age and experience is really bringing it home for me, lately. I've seen the most beautiful people (on the outside) become "beasts" when the ugly, sad stuff that they carry on the inside presents itself to the world in a cruel and harmful way. And I've witnessed the most beauty in people who are not traditionally "beautiful" on the outside, but who are generous, loving and truly kind on the inside. My goal is definitely the latter. And I knew if I was ever going to reach this goal, I needed to look at myself critically and determine what changes I needed to make in myself, on the inside, in order to get there. And the first step, for me, was finding and being my authentic self- not the person I thought I should be and not the person other people thought I should be. My work over the past year or so has been stripping away all of the "shoulds", unlearning and shedding a lot negative "stuff", learning positive self-talk, etc.- really, just going back to who I really am. I had to rediscover the person I was born to be- not the person who is influenced by the opinions and expectations of other people and not the person who is fulfilling a role that someone else has molded for me.

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Everyone has a purpose. And that purpose is inextricably linked to their true and unique gifts. Finding and keeping those gifts is harder than it may seem, though. Responsibilities (supporting themselves, raising a family, etc.) and negative influences (competition or comparisons, the desire for more money, recognition, accolades,etc.) end up burying their true selves and their true gifts. So, to get back to the bottom of it, I think a good question (and one I have started asking my students on a regular basis), is this: "What was your favorite thing to do when you were five?" What did you do, when you were five, or any time, really, before you had any responsibilities or ego-centered thoughts, for hours and not even realize the passing of time? It's pretty fun to even think about it and I think the answer will get you closer to your authentic self. And once you find it, you can share it with the world- in one way or another. If you're lucky, you can find a job where you can express your authentic self to the world every day (and get paid for it!). But, if not, you can express it in other ways- in the way you present your physical self to the world (check this out if you need guidance), in your hobbies or the way you spend your free time and, really, in any way you communicate with and interact with the world around you. Your authentic self is your gift to the world. Your beauty is revealed when you start sharing your gift- your true, authentic self- with the world. And as a bonus, there is so much freedom in knowing who you are- knowing exactly what is important to you and what is not, knowing exactly what you will allow in your life and what you will not,etc. When you know yourself, when you are steady in your beliefs, and when you know what your gifts are, there is no comparing yourself to others. There are no feelings of not being "good enough" or "as good as", because you know you have your own unique gifts and other people have theirs. When you are clear on who you are, then you can more clearly see the unique gifts in other people and be happy for them, not jealous of them. You can express yourself as the loving, generous, kind person you were meant to be, not someone who is full of doubt or fear of not measuring up or not being good enough. You have no fear, because you will always have your true, authentic self inside of you and you know that THAT will always be enough.

And THAT is beauty. Don't you think?